Excursion Inlet

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groundhog
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Posts: 25
Joined: Thu May 08, 2008 8:10 pm

Excursion Inlet

Post by groundhog »

In Excursion Inlet off Icy Strait there is a very successful lodge run by a hard working Mormon family. Winters are spent drumming up customers in Utah. And boy are they good at drumming up customers. The tourists arrive via catamaran from Juneau. They sleep in a bunkhouse, and eat in a mess-hall. It's a bulk operation. The costco of lodges.

The guests fish out of small open skiffs and are "self-guided". Actually they are guided by lodge employees in chase-boats that herd them around, show them where to fish, and get them out of trouble. Every morning on calm summer days the fleet exits Excursion, like bees from a hive.

Unfortunatley, one of the spots they like to fish is in front of our cabin. When we see them coming, we pull our gear and go home. We start fishing again after the're gone. It gets real tiring. Sometimes we speculate; "maybe every Mormon has to fill a fishbox before they die, to enter Morman Heavan?" For the most part, they stay on the backside of the reefs that guard the mouth of our bay.

One day I was doing a little painting at the cabin when I glanced out the window and saw a lodge skiff trolling along the beach. Instead of peeling off on the backside of the reefs, they continued into the bay. Now I know I don't own the water, but I also know that it's rude to stare in peoples windows from 50' away. I was feeling a little cranky that day. So as the voyuristic tourists were rubber-necking my spread, I decided it was a good time to try out the new 440 grain wadcutters for my S&W 500.

......The crusty bearded Alaskan stepped out on his front porch. He set down a paintbrush and picked up a massive stainless steel revolver. He opened the cylinder and loaded two bullets that looked like brass sausages. Kneeling down, he took a rest on the porch railing, cocked the hammer with his thumb, and placed his finger on the trigger. The shot was felt as much as heard. Huge chunks of bark sprayed off the old spruce log he was aiming at.......

Right after the first shot, the fools hooked a coho. I could see they were torn between concentrating on me or the fish. The guy fighting the fish started pumping his rod. At the second shot the fish broke off. Poles were thrown down. The "captain" cranked the throttle and made a beeline for Excursion. Unfortunately he forgot about the reef. As the skiff was screaming towards the reef, they were spotted by a lodge chase-boat tending its flock on the backside of the reefs. The chase-boat made a beeline for the doomed skiff. The skiff won the race, chewing through 25 yards of bull kelp and leaving a green wake. Miraculously they made it over the rocks without hitting. The chase-boat caught them just as they oozed out of the backside of the kelp patch. Everyone was on their feet. I could see arms waving and gesticulating. There was a lot of pointing in my direction and at the reef.

That was the last lodge boat I saw for the season.

Disclaimer: no Mormons were harmed in the making of this story.
yak2you2
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Re: When coffee was everything.

Post by yak2you2 »

that's a funny one. Sounds like you need some log booms.
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