You know you're old and circling the drain when....

Discussion related to commercial salmon trolling, boats, gear, fishing techniques, electronics, marketing, etc.
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ericv
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You know you're old and circling the drain when....

Post by ericv »

Okay, time to fess up fleet - not all of us are young, agile whipper-snappers.

You know you're old and circling the drain when.....

* Your teen-aged deckhand son has a puzzled look on his face while holding a zip lock baggy he pulled from the "junk" drawer that has a flattened Preparation H tube with it's belly slit open and the contents carefully scraped out and a few pair of exam gloves stuffed in with it.

* The colorful pile of pills carefully set out to take in the darkened morning hours are still present at dawn, yet several colored beads for hoochies setting nearby have mysteriously disappeared and it is of no concern.

* When lifting anything over 30lbs, you've trained your lower sphincter to tighten like a vice as to keep to your ration of one set of drawers per day.

* Breaking wind produces new sounds but no detectable smell on you part, yet your Labrador scurries out the wheelhouse door with a defeated look in his eyes and the carbon monoxide alarm fires off.

* You're buddy and fellow 4-53 Detroit owner asks you incredulously (and loudly) "why the hell would you have herring eggs in your ears!!?" when what you actually said is "I don't have my hearing aids in my ears". (True story).

* Your deckhand son looks forlornly at the food box loaded for the next 5 days, sees items like oatmeal, 72 grain wheat bread, dried prunes/fruit, Trim milk, Fibercon and asks if he can order 7 large pizza's to keep in the hold before leaving.

* Your Nav software charts are zoomed in so you can see them, giving you a forward looking range that equals 1/8 mile.

* You are more attentive to the soak solution for the false teeth than what you use for your brass and copper spoons.

* You rarely drag anchor at night anymore. Because your up every 1.5 hrs or less to whiz over the side allowing you a chance to check your status.

* When it comes time to "pinch a loaf" you steer clear of the fleet, set an unobstructed course due West to China on the autopilot, grab the newly configured padded toilet seat (modified to fit the requisite Delo 100 40wt 5 gallon bucket) and say a prayer for Deliverance of Evil or something to that sort.

* The only headrush you get anymore is when you stand up too quickly or bear down too hard while attempting to give birth to a cement based Boneless Brown.

* You expect the Harbormaster to award you a slip at the base of the ramp in your sunset years, yet he relocates you to the end of the finger saying something to the affect of "Hail Mary docking maneuvers".

* You bring a set of BBQ tongs on board to pick up your socks and other items lower than your knees.

* The standard "5 second rule" for dropped food becomes "will it smell in the next few days?"

* You clearly decide that you will not seek medical attention if you ever did have an erection that lasted more than 4 minutes, I mean 4 hours.
carojae
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Re: You know you're old and circling the drain when....

Post by carojae »

You know you are old when after your (*&^%%^ cell phone finally quits ringing because you couldn't find it and then discover it was in plain site right next to you.
:?
Siskiyous
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Re: You know you're old and circling the drain when....

Post by Siskiyous »

When you spend 25 minutes looking for the glasses your wearing.
Salty
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Re: You know you're old and circling the drain when....

Post by Salty »

OMG I am in the suction.
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Re: You know you're old and circling the drain when....

Post by Salty »

You go in the wheel house after setting the gear and have to go back out and check the marks on your wire to see what depth you are running today.
fveureka
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Re: You know you're old and circling the drain when....

Post by fveureka »

When...your call out code when your really catching fish is "things are real slow over here" and you then go anchor up and take a nap....
Trnaround
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Re: You know you're old and circling the drain when....

Post by Trnaround »

You start setting your gear and realize you haven't dropped your poles.
You try to raise your poles and realize you are having difficulty because you didn't raise your stabilizers first.
You convince yourself that the errors were because you were overtired but you just had 10 hours sleep.
ericv
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Re: You know you're old and circling the drain when....

Post by ericv »

* When you don't catch on that your gear is not coming in as it should, only to notice at some point (i.e. light years) you have not engaged your gurdy.

* When you collect your friends mail who is out of town on an extended fishing trip and you immediately (and excitedly) grab for the newest Boats and Harbors publication pushing aside the latest Victoria's Secrets catalog.

* You hear a "bang" and hydraulics squealing and then, and only then, notice that your port side sheer board is hard and fast jammed into your hayrack block being that your were distracted admiring a legal size booger that you had diligently extricated deep from within your starboard nostril while waiting for the sheer board to travel in.

* When you get a VHF call on 16 from a mysterious sounding woman, switch over to 68 as told, ask innocently and politely "who is this?" to be blasted with "THIS IS YOUR WIFE!!!!" that can easily be deciphered over your screaming jimmy.

* You dutifully engage the Morse lever into forward and ease on the throttle with the plans to quietly leave the anchorage before your buddies, who are stirring and watching you intently (for some reason). Without warning, the boat suddenly sheers around hard and hangs up solid, causing you to nearly fall and dumps your coffee cup over. The 4 watt light bulb flickers on weakly within the brain sending you the signal "you didn't pull the anchor you idiot".

* On a real SLOW winter King salmon trolling day, starboard side to the shore, hours in to it with nothing to show other than Hypoxic Butt Syndrome. The starboard deep starts to clatter away!! then followed by the starboard float!! Your heart races, your bladder nearly fails, you "hustle" back to the aft area ready to engage the hydraulics, "damn, a double hit!!!" You can already recite the crowing you'll do back at the dock. You note the sounder reads 43 fathoms steady......your tagged off at 50.

* For some reason the tides just are not doing what they should, been this way for days, must be related that global worming or warming stuff they're talking about all the time. Glance at the Dot's Tide Book that had become buried on the dash, look at the cover innocently: 2012. It is October 27th, 2013.

*
Salty
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Re: You know you're old and circling the drain when....

Post by Salty »

For some reason it appears that many of these posts recount real experiences. Or maybe because I have experienced most of em.

Here is one that has happened to me a few times. You have just put on your pajamas and crawled into bed at your house when your friend a couple of stalls over calls and asks if you plan to leave your engine running "all night".
Salty
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Re: You know you're old and circling the drain when....

Post by Salty »

When you have more gear that you will never use than the new gear you are going to buy.
Salty
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Re: You know you're old and circling the drain when....

Post by Salty »

When you love being a troller but are tired of being treated like one.
Salty
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Re: You know you're old and circling the drain when....

Post by Salty »

When you are happy with your last day even though it is 10% of the guys fishing 10 miles away.
Salty
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Re: You know you're old and circling the drain when....

Post by Salty »

When it takes you a week to recover from a month of spring trolling.
Salty
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Re: You know you're old and circling the drain when....

Post by Salty »

When your wife announces she is "retiring" and asks. "What is your exit plan?"
Trnaround
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Re: You know you're old and circling the drain when....

Post by Trnaround »

Then it takes a month to recover from a week of Spring Trolling.
First you forget names
then you forget faces
then you forget to zip up
then you forget to zip down. :lol:
Almost there.
Salty
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Re: You know you're old and circling the drain when....

Post by Salty »

Somewhere in there you forget boat names.
Salty
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Re: You know you're old and circling the drain when....

Post by Salty »

You give up on 1.5 wire because you can no longer count by 1.5 or 3, and discover you can't count by 2 either.
kjwelder
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Re: You know you're old and circling the drain when....

Post by kjwelder »

You know your not young anymore when you stop being embarrassed by your parents and start to think that their mistakes are kinda cute.
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